This Was My Plan All Along

Not too long ago, I was being interviewed for an article, happily sharing information about how I got started podcasting for kids, about my sources of inspiration, when I was asked, “What do you expect kids to get out of participating in your after-school program?” Wait, what? You want to know what I expect to happen from my efforts? You want to know how things will turn out? You want to know if I’m seeing achievement or progress on some indicator? You want my expected outcomes?!

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Previously

The viral video of Dr. Robert Kelly talking with the BBC about the impeachment of the South Korean leader, while in the background his 4 year old daughter comes waltzing into the room, followed by her brother in a rolling walker, is so incredibly delightful to watch, it has been played close to 23 million times. Continue reading

Boo! – Perceived Reality

“Help!” squeaked a mouse. “He’s coming!”
Who’s coming?” asked a frog.
“Big Bro,” said the mouse.
“He’s rough, he’s tough, and he’s big.”
“Big?” said the frog. “How big?”
The mouse stretched out his arms as wide as they could go.
“This big,” he cried, and he scampered off to hide.

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Who is a Leader?

“I don’t like monsters and I really don’t like mean people.”  –Melvin Bubble

Could you work for Melvin Bubble? Would you follow Melvin Bubble if he had a great idea? Do you think Melvin Bubble would listen to you? Do you think Melvin Bubble could help you out if you had a problem? Is Melvin a leader? How much more would you have to know about Melvin Bubble before you could support him as your leader? Continue reading

A Most Amazing Leader

“The quietest thing in the world is a worm chewing peanut butter.” 

I love this line from Judi Barrett’s book, “Things That Are Most in the World.” There is something especially delightful about this sentence. It is reassuring and ridiculous all at the same time. It feels great to know exactly what is the most quiet thing in the world! Doesn’t it? Continue reading

Do You Know the Way Home?

 

I recently trained a group of early childhood professionals on new standards designed to raise the quality of early childhood education.  At the start of the session I asked the attendees why they thought lawmakers were enacting these new standards or rules and someone quickly shouted out, “to drive us crazy!”   There was a knowing laugh among her colleagues, which led to a very passionate discussion about the divide between those who make the rules and those who are hired to follow them. Continue reading

Leading by Thesaurus

The man is not wholly evil – he has a thesaurus in his cabin.

This quote is from J.M. Barrie’s “Peter Pan,” referring to Captain Hook. It is also the opening quote in Jen Bryant and Melissa Sweet’s multi-award winning book, “The Right Word: Roget and His Thesaurus.” Peter Mark Roget (pronounced “Roh-Zhay”), best known for publishing, “Thesaurus of English Words and Phrases” in 1852, is the subject of Bryant and Sweet’s book.

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First the Leader

I experienced a profound leadership moment at community band rehearsal last night. The conductor stood at the podium, baton in hand, setting the time and tempo of the piece we were playing. We all knew our parts, yet together we were not quite achieving our goal of making music. The conductor stopped and started a few times, but he still wasn’t hearing music. He said his baton felt heavy with trying to pull together each of our parts. So he stopped and put down his baton. Then, Continue reading

Year of the Mole

I’d like to declare 2016 the “Year of the Mole.”   No, this is not some new Chinese zodiac animal or a profound desire to hole up for the winter now that I’m living in freezing temperatures.  This declaration is my desire to celebrate those who dream, act, attend, practice, learn and perform, regardless of the size of the audience. The mole I’m talking about is one I discovered in David McPhail’s book, “Mole Music.”

Mole lived all alone underground, digging tunnels. In the evenings he would relax and eat dinner in front of the TV, then to bed. He had the feeling something was missing and one night he heard a man on television play the violin, making the most beautiful music. He decided he wanted to make beautiful music too. He sent away for a violin and everyday he checked his mailbox, waiting, until finally after nearly three weeks, it arrived. He picked up the bow and drew it across the strings, but instead of beautiful music, he just made horrible screeching sounds.

Molepracticing

The illustrations begin to show the reaction above the ground as the sounds from below the ground waft through. As mole tries again, the birds recoil and fly away and the tree branches sulk with the horrible vibrations. But mole kept at it. He played one note, then another and after a month an entire scale. The birds are then seen flying back and the young sapling standing upright. As mole practiced, the birds are now feeding their baby as a bunny looks on. As years go by, the music continues, the tree grows strong, and mole got better and better.

Mole was happier than he’d ever been, he dug during the day and played music at night and was even better than the man he saw before.   He wonders what it would be like to play his music for people. As he plays and wonders, above the ground you see the tree lined with different kinds of birds and the ground surrounded by different kinds of people. As he imagines playing for presidents and queens, he also imagines his music could reach into people’s hearts and melt away their anger and sadness.

As he reaches for his violin that evening there are two warring armies gathering on the hilltops above the mole’s home.  They are pointing their weapons at one another, ready to charge.  The armies set off on horseback, dust billowing and birds scattering, but as they approached the tree and hear the music, they toss their weapons aside. As mole continues to play, the warring men are seen greeting one another by handshake instead of weapons, embracing one another as mole thinks how silly he is for thinking his music could change the world when no one has ever heard it. “Mole played one more song, then put down his violin and went to sleep. And dreamed beautiful, peaceful dreams.”

This beautifully simple story is about the universal language and power of music, but for leaders, this story can serve as a reminder of the power of listening.  Leaders have extraordinary power and responsibility to inspire others, to look for the way forward toward accomplishing goals and objectives. But in addition to looking, mole’s story serves as a reminder about the potential impacts of listening.

In a Harvard Business Review article titled, Three Ways Leaders Can Listen with More Empathy by Christine Riordan, she writes, “Slowing down, engaging with others rather than endlessly debating, taking the time to hear and learn from others, and asking brilliant questions are ultimately the keys to success.”  But there are numerous books, articles, and research about this power. So why is it so difficult for many leaders? In part, because listening takes time and the impacts are hard, if not impossible, to measure. We are living in extraordinarily fast paced times and most new leaders want to impact their organization in a positive fashion at breakneck speed in order to demonstrate value. In our era of big data and proven, measurable results, taking time to listen can feel hard to justify. Mole Music is a beautiful reminder that the impact of listening may not always be known or measurable, but the potential impact of listening can be profound, allowing for meaningful change.

Listen for the moles among us, they are there, they are working hard, they are practicing, playing, making music in their own way. If we choose to honor their vibrations, their practice, who knows, the many discordant vibrations of ugliness, cruelty, and callousness might just be interrupted enough so that beautiful vibrations can be heard.   At the end of the year a friend sent me a beautiful visual of the many moles among us. Be a leader who values the moles and the music they make.

  • Find resources for those looking to grow, to learn, to practice;
  • Make space for practice, be tolerant of mistakes, of horrible screeching sounds. Allow for correction, protect for correction, give time for each note to be practiced and put together.
  • Then stop and listen…

Imagine creating a better world, imagine creating a kinder world, imagine melting away anger and sadness.   If you have the power to celebrate the accomplishments of the moles in your midst, then gather an audience and listen, so 2016 can truly be the Year of the Mole.

 

 

 

Thus and So…

Wakes and ripples continue to emit from the New York Times article, “Inside Amazon: Wrestling Big Ideas in a Bruising Workplace” by Jodi Kantor and David Streitfeld, and some of those ripples came my way, rocking me this way and that, pondering thus and so.

I began my career with, what was then called, a “Big 8” public accounting firm. It was 1989 and the “old boy’s club” manners were dying out and new hires were trying to decide for themselves which side of history they wanted to be on, as they determined how loud to laugh when a legendary, grey-haired partner told an off-color joke about women or whether to join a lunch time meeting with a long standing client at the local strip club.

As I gained experience and times changed, I have been lulled into thinking more progress has been made than might be so. Perhaps each generation can only go through the process of finding a place to match their ambitions, challenge their intellect, and decide for themselves how much they are willing to bargain for, in order to, hopefully, figure out what they seemingly want.

I began in an era where there were still leaders who sent me for coffee because I was the only woman on the team. I also remember the feeling of shock at being asked to leave a board meeting, even after I had been invited by the CFO. (I admired that CFO for his truth telling after this incident, admitting the reasons were both because of my sex and age.)  I am thankful I was on the right side of this history, and as young leaders began to rise and old leaders felt their time had come or their missteps caused too much risk, I began to have experiences where my knowledge, skills and abilities, as they say, were championed and promoted.

After letting the article ruminate a bit, the emotions that stayed with me were primarily ones of sadness and guilt. Sadness for the slow pace of change at a highly respected, top performing company and guilt for the connivance of my consumer ways that seem to be driving the culture and choices of those building our new world.

While it’s great to see that women are hired for their unique talents at Amazon, it felt as though they were being invited aboard the cruise ship “success-at-all-costs” which doesn’t allow for the mere mention of families, illnesses, or any expression of female strengths, i.e. nurturing, collaboration, rendering women, or men who express feminine characteristics, to be data driven back to port.

As I sit here today, raising a born-digital daughter, I was saddened to see there was much I recognized in the workplace the article described: 80 hour work weeks- check, relentless culling of employees – check, belittling new ideas – check, albeit, there seems to have been progress made since the belittling is now happening without disguise.

Now, while I’m proud to call myself a feminist and I “leaned in” at the tables I was invited to, the children’s story that resonated the loudest in support of my thoughts is a story about beauty, attention, love and marriage.   I hope you’ll allow me a bit of latitude to use this gorgeous story, written and illustrated by Evaline Ness, as my way of making sense.

Evaline Ness, an American artist who illustrated over 30 children’s books, passed away in 1986, around the same time I entered the workforce. Her 1970 book titled, “The Girl and the Goatherd Or This and That and Thus and So” came to mind as I thought about today’s workplace and wondered…

ThusandSo

The story opens with a girl. A very ugly girl. A girl who could think of nought else except to be beautiful. Now, before getting into the story too far, I’d like to assign the part of “the girl” to Amazon. For, with their values worn so unabashedly and proudly, they could think of nought else except to be great.

Now, even though the girl got uglier as she got older, one man, a goatherd, looked at her and asked her for her hand. The part of “the goatherd” I will assign to “a leader”.

As the girl sat a-moping a witch appeared. The witch makes a bargain, “I’ll make you the most beautiful of all if you do as I bid.” The girl asks, “Ooooooo?” “Yes,” said the witch. The witch then gives her an impossible demand, to roof her house with oak saplings, by dawn.

Now, there is one last part to assign, the witch.   I shall assign the part of “the witch” to be “a customer”.  Yes, me.  Dare I say, us?  Aren’t we the ones with these demands? – Find me an Elsa doll, even though not one vendor in all of New York City can do it, Amazon, you must! “Do you want to be great, Amazon?” I ask in my consumer witch form, “I will make you great, but these are my demands!”

Back to the story…Well now, the only place to find the oak saplings was on top of the highest hill. The girl went up and down, up and down, until she floundered and come midnight, she still didn’t have enough saplings, so she stood and boo-hooed. The NYT article similarly mentioned a lot of boo-hooing at Amazon in order to meet consumer demands, and by dawn!

Then, along came the goatherd. The goatherd liked the girl’s looks the way they be, telling her, “don’t fret yourself, I’ll help you.”  For you see, there is much to like about the girl (Amazon), even if she seeks beauty without paying mind to those helping her get there. For once she accomplished the witch’s (consumer’s) demands, with the help of the goatherd (a leader), she was all smiles and hardly a thank-you.

Now, you can ask yourself, would a leader help the girl? Why would a leader help someone achieve an unhealthy vision?  Upon first glance, the goatherd can be seen as a simpleton, an enabler solely focused on his own goal, marriage, but my experience tells me leadership is not so simple, not so black and white.  While he has his own goals, he decides to help the girl, without asking for anything in return, for now.

Well, as you might guess, the witch made her better to look at than before, but beautiful she was still not. You see, customer demands are never fully met, each iteration will bring about a new demand, stating we need this and that, done thus and so…

The witch goes on to demand a hundred yards of cobwebs for curtains so the girl will realize more beauty, and then steal a thousand birds’ eggs, and only then, will she be the most beautiful girl of all.   Each time, with a moment of boo-hooing and then help from the goatherd, who liked her the way she be, all of the witch’s demands were met.

As the girl “hummed and fluttered and twittered and wiggled, she was that a-gog to be the most beautiful of all.” And, sure enough, Amazon has gotten its wish, to be the greatest retailer of all! How glorious to achieve what one wishes, to have set your sights on something so grand. To have followed your 14 leadership principals to greatness!

Most grand of all most grand of all most grand of all most grant of all most grand of all most grand of all most grand of all

The news of their greatness flew around the land and they were showered with gems and treasures in the form of rising stock prices and knights and lords and princes and kings came from far and wide in the form of the best and the brightest workers, lining up at their doors.   But not one spoke to her or touched her or even smiled on her. They thought, you know, she was more gold than girl. Ness creates this amazing two-page spread of the beautiful girl being looked upon by all of her admirers, just the way Amazon must feel.

And this is where my Amazon comparison ends, for we do not know what the very next thing will be for Amazon as we do for the girl. For she began to snuffle and sigh once again, even more so than before, realizing, “To be the most beautiful of all’s not the first and last to be happy. I’d sooner be ugly.”

Then the goatherd, once again, agreed to help the girl, but this time only if she would stop her nattering and marry him.  The girl agreed, and with this and that and thus and so, betwixt them together they worked the night through.

Leaders, at all levels, know there is much to like about Amazon, but would you continue to want their hand or would you search elsewhere after giving so much?  For now I wonder whether Amazon, in light of all the gawking at their greatness, will realize they are more gold than girl and decide to stop meeting the demands of consumers at all costs, and listen to their goatherds, to those who have helped them, to those who are kind and have worked hard, and to realize seeking ones goals at all costs is not the first and last to be happy. The article spoke of many a goatherd, who simply got tired of helping, tired of hostile language, tired of not being thanked and went away, to find another, not worrying about being the first or the last.

The leaders I have admired over the years, some of which I’m afraid don’t get much attention or thanks in our culture, are the ones who quietly take action, persevere, listen, act, compromise and ultimately know when and for what to ask, both of themselves and of those around them.

For now, I wonder whether I can change my witch ways, reigning in my own demands for timely products and services, thinking twice about whether I really need another Eveline Ness book by tomorrow morning. Perhaps I will, perhaps I won’t. With this and that and thus and so, only time will tell how much we change.